The Loneliness of Lightwork and Why I Write Under My Soul Name

Nom De Plume

If you have been following me for a while you will know that Kyna is the name I had in another lifetime that I choose to associate with my spiritual side and soul. The image you see on the welcome page of this website is the closest artist rendition I’ve found to date that depicts how I used to look in my other life.

There is another reason why I write under my soul name though. At the beginning of 2016 I had reached a point where I HAD to start talking about my life as a lightworker otherwise I would have gone crazy trying to hold it in. I believe this was a trigger event from my higher self.

There was no-one in any of my inner circles that I could talk to about this, not even my husband. So I had to let it out another way. I made a decision that I needed to create a pen name so that I could write without holding anything back. It worked but it came at a cost.

Lying by Omission?

Every time I carved some time aside to work on my blogs it reminded me just how alone I felt with this side of myself. Only online did I find others who were going through the same thing. I felt guilty that I couldn’t even share my journey with the closest person in my life. It felt like lying by omission.

Yet I knew I couldn’t hold back my spiritual development waiting for those I cared about to catch up. All the energies bombarding us in 2016 compelled me to take this step forward into my own Source. I had to do it for myself. I’m starting to suspect that this is one of the lessons my dream about ascension was trying to tell me back in January 2016.

The Fine Line

I’ve spent a lot of time this year agonising over if I was holding back from my other half because it was easier than dealing with any possible rejection that might arise, or if it actually wasn’t time to talk about it yet. I still don’t have a good answer to that.

The thing that I keep coming back to is that, as he begins to wake up it will be natural for him to start searching online for material to explain what is happening. So that if he comes across my work (or others) then it would be a sign that it is time to open up about it.

The real fear I realised underneath it all was that with his recent cancer diagnosis it might not happen in his lifetime. The hardest part is I know he has the potential to make the leap but he is just not there yet as far as I can tell.

His spiritual development is his path, and I can’t change that. Even though I could be of help to him once he reaches a certain stage of awakening, if I acted before then I could do more harm than good and delay his progress.

I had to learn to live with the fact it was outside my control and if my higher self knew otherwise I would listen and do something about it. The fact it has been quiet on this point has been tacit confirmation that I’m doing the right thing – no matter how hard it is to live with.

Psychic Acceptance

When I was younger I went through a similar problem. I was born with psychic gifts and from the moment I was able to talk I was open about the spirits I saw around me. My parents disregarded my clairvoyant ability as an overactive imagination. When I hit age four they had enough of hearing about my “imaginary friends” and I realised they were not ready to hear this. So I stopped talking about it, and kept it to myself.

Soon after my ability to see these things dwindled. In fact my clairvoyant ability has still not recovered and is my weakness psychic gift. I’ve talked about this story in more detail in my about page, but I think it is relevant here too.

I believe if I had not taken the actions I did this year I might have gone down a similar path. Instead my psychic abilities are improving. My clairaudience has taken a real upturn. I hear spirit voices as I fall asleep now – just as I did when I was a child before I shut down my psychic side.

I even see flashes of white or blue lights on a regular basis. It’s nothing like the clarity of vision I had as a child, but it is a start. I believe self acceptance, rather than looking outside myself for confirmation, was the key to regaining my psychic ability. Sometimes that means walking the path alone, even if surrounded by others.

You Are Not Alone

I wanted to write this article in case other empaths, psychics, or lightworkers have been feeling the same way. You are not alone. There are others just like you all around the world. Keep up the great work you have been doing all your life, but particularly in 2016 and beyond. I would love to hear about your stories in the comments below. Lets show one another that the loneliness is not justified!

I want to leave you with this awesome video by Victor Oddo. I’ve been watching a lot of his videos recently, but this one inspired me to write this article and reminded me that I wasn’t alone too. Thanks Victor!

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