Nom De Plume

If you have been following me for a while you will know that Kyna is the name I had in another lifetime that I choose to associate with my spiritual side and soul. The image you see on the welcome page of this website is the closest artist rendition I’ve found to date that depicts how I used to look in my other life.

There is another reason why I write under my soul name though. At the beginning of 2016 I had reached a point where I HAD to start talking about my life as a lightworker otherwise I would have gone crazy trying to hold it in. I believe this was a trigger event from my higher self.

There was no-one in any of my inner circles that I could talk to about this, not even my husband. So I had to let it out another way. I made a decision that I needed to create a pen name so that I could write without holding anything back. It worked but it came at a cost.

Lying by Omission?

Every time I carved some time aside to work on my blogs it reminded me just how alone I felt with this side of myself. Only online did I find others who were going through the same thing. I felt guilty that I couldn’t even share my journey with the closest person in my life. It felt like lying by omission.

the-loneliness-of-lightwork-and-why-i-write-under-my-soul-name

Yet I knew I couldn’t hold back my spiritual development waiting for those I cared about to catch up. All the energies bombarding us in 2016 compelled me to take this step forward into my own Source. I had to do it for myself. I’m starting to suspect that this is one of the lessons my dream about ascension was trying to tell me back in January 2016.

The Fine Line

I’ve spent a lot of time this year agonising over if I was holding back from my other half because it was easier than dealing with any possible rejection that might arise, or if it actually wasn’t time to talk about it yet. I still don’t have a good answer to that.

The thing that I keep coming back to is that, as he begins to wake up it will be natural for him to start searching online for material to explain what is happening. So that if he comes across my work (or others) then it would be a sign that it is time to open up about it.

The real fear I realised underneath it all was that with his recent cancer diagnosis it might not happen in his lifetime. The hardest part is I know he has the potential to make the leap but he is just not there yet as far as I can tell.

His spiritual development is his path, and I can’t change that. Even though I could be of help to him once he reaches a certain stage of awakening, if I acted before then I could do more harm than good and delay his progress.

I had to learn to live with the fact it was outside my control and if my higher self knew otherwise I would listen and do something about it. The fact it has been quiet on this point has been tacit confirmation that I’m doing the right thing – no matter how hard it is to live with.

Psychic Acceptance

When I was younger I went through a similar problem. I was born with psychic gifts and from the moment I was able to talk I was open about the spirits I saw around me. My parents disregarded my clairvoyant ability as an overactive imagination. When I hit age four they had enough of hearing about my “imaginary friends” and I realised they were not ready to hear this. So I stopped talking about it, and kept it to myself.

Soon after my ability to see these things dwindled. In fact my clairvoyant ability has still not recovered and is my weakness psychic gift. I’ve talked about this story in more detail in my about page, but I think it is relevant here too.

I believe if I had not taken the actions I did this year I might have gone down a similar path. Instead my psychic abilities are improving. My clairaudience has taken a real upturn. I hear spirit voices as I fall asleep now – just as I did when I was a child before I shut down my psychic side.

I even see flashes of white or blue lights on a regular basis. It’s nothing like the clarity of vision I had as a child, but it is a start. I believe self acceptance, rather than looking outside myself for confirmation, was the key to regaining my psychic ability. Sometimes that means walking the path alone, even if surrounded by others.

You Are Not Alone

I wanted to write this article in case other empaths, psychics, or lightworkers have been feeling the same way. You are not alone. There are others just like you all around the world. Keep up the great work you have been doing all your life, but particularly in 2016 and beyond. I would love to hear about your stories in the comments below. Lets show one another that the loneliness is not justified!

I want to leave you with this awesome video by Victor Oddo. I’ve been watching a lot of his videos recently, but this one inspired me to write this article and reminded me that I wasn’t alone too. Thanks Victor!


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9 thoughts on “The Loneliness of Lightwork and Why I Write Under My Soul Name

  1. Absolutely understand you. While our paths and experiences will differ and be unique, the process shares many similarities. I have to keep the majority of my thoughts and feelings hidden. The highs and the lows. The tests. All my worst fears coming up to be addressed. Stuff so crazy and scary it is off the scale of ordinary. The endless struggling between ego based living and attempts to break free and follow the soul and heart.

    …the results of the healing work we do is self evident… it is real and affects us and the world around us … all done in secret and behind the scenes.

    I want to give myself to gods service. Satan can fuck off! Haven’t we already got enough chaos on this planet?

    Keep up your good work kyna… God is watching! If we don’t do it this time we have to do it next time…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Starlight thanks so much for your comment! It’s good to hear from another directly who is the same position. I agree that we need to focus on the light and love – as the old ways are obsolete and of the past and we have a whole new future ahead of us. I think it is good to remind ourselves every now and then that no matter what we find around us there are many many people out there doing the same work in silence. Thanks everyone! 😀

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  2. Dear Kyna I already had some occasions to see how our positions are similar! I don’t know if I told you that my husband has overcome a terrible year in 2015, fighting against cancer. I and our daughter gave him all the support possible, but I really doubted how he could come over, being a pure materialistic person. He has no faith, in God source or whatever…. He is convinced that there is nothing more than this life with its end being buried in mother earth. I tried a lot to make him understand my vision, but ther’s no help. Now I’m coming to your decision to let him go his path, because I finally understand that we can’t do for others, neither help others, if they don’t accept help. As a hard Empath I want to help everyone but it’s not the way it goes. Fortunately I have a daughter that is on my side of the matter, so I have where to go when depressed or disillusioned…… Somebody real near me who may understand me instead of taking me for a full, or even worse, for an idiot. But I tell you that all this doesn’t stop me from speaking loud my opinions! I don’t bother what they think about me, it’s their problem not mine! This need is so impelling in me, I just can’t help speaking!
    Always happy to find persons with whom to exchange opinions, at least here on the web…… Probably my age helps me now, but I got used to being considered strange, different, shy and extremely reserved all my life. Loneliness is our destiny, my dear, in this world of separation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Sonia.

      Thanks for sharing your story! We are very alike 😉

      Yeah I understand about the feeling to want to help everyone, but I’ve had to accept the fact that you can’t help someone unless they want it. I know if my other half comes to me about this stuff I’ll talk to the ends of the Earth about it – but that may not happen in this life.

      Glad I’ve found you guys online though 😀

      Take care Sonia!

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  3. Ah yes, so much shared experiences; the loneliness can be overwhelming at times and the need to help others who are not asking for it is a huge issue with me. I have learned the hard way and got broken but have found spiritual ways to help, heal and empower myself. Loneliness is part of the curriculum it seems! Sending Love To All xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks radiantliving yeah I think you are right about loneliness is part of the deal, at least for now whilst things are settling out here on Earth. I am looking forward to a time when all this is fully out in the open and talking about it is common place but we are just not there yet. I guess acceptance is key here – just taking reality for what it is right now.

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  4. I just watched another great Victor Oddo video on this subject “to talk or not to talk” about the spiritual path with people. It actually made me cry it was so spot on. I thought you guys might want to watch it too since you are going through the same thing 🙂

    Take care!

    Like

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